riventhorn | drive-by Guardian thoughts

I was watching ep 3 today, and was struck once again by ZYL's people skills. The first time he meets Professor Zhang, he notes how she is overly apologetic and connects that to either low self esteem or past trauma. In contrast, Shen Wei keeps insisting that she has nothing to do with the crime, and that one of the three students who we find out later was involved in raping Professor Zhang is a "sincere and warm" person. ZYL comments that although Shen Wei has studied many living things, he is lacking in the area of studying human beings.

Other moments also support the idea that Shen Wei does not always have great interpersonal skills. For example, the way he "comforts" Zhu Hong about her unrequited feelings for ZYL. I think he is really trying to comfort her, but is obviously doing a terrible job.

However, I think his relationship with Li Qian is quite different in this respect. He notices that she is stressed and unhappy; he finds ways to comfort her about her grandmother, etc. And of course, his relationship with ZYL, where he is quite observant of ZYL's emotions.

So, I'm interpreting Shen Wei as the sort of person who does better in long-lasting, deep relationships where he spends a lot of time with an individual and comes to know them and feel comfortable with them, as opposed to ZYL who can connect with people much faster. For this interpretation, I am assuming that Shen Wei has known Li Qian for a while and she has been his grad assistant for a while too.

In a related note, I love how swiftly Shen Wei becomes super concerned over Zhao Yunlan's health. We're only on ep 3, but Shen Wei is already chastising ZYL for eating sweets when he has a cold. <3<3<3

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Hmm...yeah, Shen Wei's people skills are certainly lacking, or more like, he just doesn't seem to understand Haixingren motivations, emotions, or even human society in general. Which is kind of obvious, imo, since he isn't Haixingren, he didn't grow up around ordinary people and was an orphan from a young age (probably a child soldier), and ever since he came up top has likely been keeping himself aloof from Haixingren unless he was required to interact with them for the sake of either his BCE or professorial duties.

But funnily enough, even though Yun Lan excels above him vastly when it come to casual societal interactions and figuring out suspects, when it comes to long-term relationships I get the feeling that he'd be no better than Shen Wei, or maybe even worse. His problems connecting with Zhu Hong, Chu Shuzi and his dad until he was practically forced into it by supernatural circumstances kind of proves that, imo. But then again, he's a guy, and you can't really expect heartfelt conversations or proper expressions of affection out of a guy anyway XD

Part of it is probably the culture/background difference, although I was thinking of it more along the lines of an introvert/extrovert type divide. That's an interesting thought about how ZYL would be when it comes to long-term relationships. Although I'm not sure that I agree that he has problems connecting with Zhu Hong and Chu Shuzi. I think he builds quite strong bonds with them, but in the case of Zhu Hong, it's just that it isn't the kind she wants, and he doesn't want to hurt or embarrass her by making it clear. And with his dad, a lot of the problems there are Zhao Xinci's fault.

I for one have never felt very strongly about his relationships with anyone other than Da Qing and Shen Wei (both of whom don't really behave normally around him, and who were bound to him because of what happened 10 000 years ago), which is why I feel he's not that good at doing long-term, either (or maybe he just doesn't want to, idk). Imo, he definitely could have dealt with Zhu Hong better; and his rather bratty responses to his father only seem to egg the guy on - he ought to have acted more indifferent, cos most Asian parents are very judgemental, including my own, and I (and a lot of other kids like me) have found that the best way to deal with them is to not rise to the provocation until they get tired of blaming and nagging ;D

But then again, taking his age in the show to be 28 means he's only 1 year older than me, so I'm probably comparing us a bit too much. I'm excellent at reading people, myself, but I use that ability to make peace with everyone asap for the sake of my own peace of mind, which isn't something you can expect from a guy, especially not one with a fighting spirit like Yun Lan's!

To me, not connecting with Zhao Xinci proves nothing but the ability to avoid assholes.

I didn't think Zhao Yunlan had problems connecting to any of his team, really, beyond the issue of being their boss?

I... think the Zhu Hong thing was him genuinely being helpless and trying to not hurt her but using totally the wrong way to do it. Which, okay, so he could have handled that better. :)

The father thing I get SO SO MUCH, but then I'm the confrontational type. And I think his problem is, he isn't indifferent, and he can't pretend to be because this goes too deep. But at least, he actually tries to stay out of his father's way. It's only when Zhao Xinci makes his unwelcome, uninvited appearances that ZYL gets 'bratty'.

I do admit the Asian context, I can't speak to, but to me as a Westerner he read totally as someone who is deeply hurt but hell he's not going to back down and play the good son. And it's what I would do.

But then again, taking his age in the show to be 28 means he's only 1 year older than me

LOL well we all know guys mature more slowly!

Edited 2019-05-12 17:37 (UTC)

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